Narcisse Noir
by Cuore l'anima della
Summary: Loki has a crush on his older brother's best friend, but something isn't right about their relationship, but what does Loki know, it is only his first love. And why is everyone so angry about who Thor loves.


When did it start? When did things get so bad. His mother hasn't stopped crying in her room. His father was burning pictures in the fireplace. He got lucky he manage to save a few for himself.

Loki looked at the pictures of his brother and most importantly his best friend. Well, now it was confirmed they weren't friends, they were more than that. Steve Rodgers, the boy who broke the the Odinson family.

Steve Rodgers was Thor Odinson's best friend. He would always visit his house after school. Loki would sometimes watch them as they played video games in the living room, sometimes even join in a game or two, but when ever they went into Thor's room Loki wasn't allowed to go inside.

He was ten, Thor and Steve were fourteen. Loki knew that the boys wanted to play only with someone their own age but he couldn't help it. Steve was really nice to him and he didn't really have friends. Steve would pat his head whenever they met and taught him how to properly throw a ball.

Loki one day realized he had a crush on his brother's best friend. He decided he would try to get Steve to like him as well. Yet somehow he knew it wouldn't work.

Whenever Loki tried to steal Steve away Thor would intervene. Steve would just smile and tell him, "Maybe next time." Loki would blush and rush to the library to read. He knew it would be hard to keep Steve's attention, and somehow he knew that the reason was because even when he paid attention to Loki his eyes still saw Thor.

One night Loki had a nightmare. He was too scared to go back to sleep on his own. He crawled out of bed and made the trip to his brother's room. He saw the door was cracked just a bit. Just enough that he could see what was going on inside. He checked inside and saw something that would stay with him forever.

Inside were his brother and Steve. Nothing new, but this time they were close. Closer than any other time Loki saw them. They kissed, not on the cheek like Thor gives him sometimes, but on the lips. Loki knew that meant something because his books spoke of true love's kiss.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw Steve pulling his brother closer to deepen the kiss. Loki left to his room and wondered, what would it be like to kiss Steve like that. It looked beautiful, their eyes full of love. Loki brought out a book to read but his mind couldn't focus. For the first time ever he wanted someone to look at him like that, to kiss him like that. He also wanted that person to be Steve Rodgers.

Soon he was fourteen he understood his feelings a bit better. His crush never faded but he hid it better. Steve still visits Thor and they still hide in Thor's room. Loki would find them in compromising positions every once in a while but he stayed hidden to let the two lovers be alone. He never watched them for long but his imagination worked well.

Until one night when it wasn't Loki who caught them but Odin. All Loki heard was screaming. He ran down the hall to see what was happening but his mother caught him in her arms. "No, you mustn't see." she told him. He didn't need to see, his imagination worked very well. He tried to focus on calming down his mother, but his heart wasn't truly in it.

Thor left the house that night. Loki stayed up to wait for him but he never came back. Frigga cried, she tried not to cry in front of Loki but he is a shadow in a house of light, he sees her when she doesn't think he is there. He knows a lot of secrets that happen in his home.

Odin locks away Thor's room. When Loki asks why that day and Odin tells him he will understand when he is older. They attend church more and that is when he hears the whispers for the first time not about him but about Thor.

_'Did you hear, the Odinson's boy ran off with that Rodgers boy?'_

_'Really? I guess that explains why they never courted one of the young girls that throws themselves at them.'_

_'I would never let my sons sleep with other men. It is immoral.'_

_'I just hope we never see those two around here again.'_

Loki didn't understand. Why was it wrong for his brother and Steve to be together. They are best friends. And they always say it is best to fall in love with your best friend. When he asks Frigga she cries and tells him it is different for Thor.

Odin says Thor is no longer his brother and he shouldn't mention his name ever again. Thor would always be his brother. Even when they fought they always stuck close to each other. He wonders where he is and if he is okay.

He hasn't seen Steve around either. He hopes he is okay.

They found the bodies three months later. Frigga begs Odin to let her bury their son in the family cemetery. Odin fights her on it and they compromise. They will be buried together under a tree near the lake where they sank together. They also buy the lake and some of the surrounding area.

They say sank but Loki knows they mean they died together. The whispers start up again and this time it is worse.

_'That is what they get for going against God.'_

_'Now they can't taint our children.'_

_'The kingdom of God has no place for people like them.'_

Loki doesn't care. He just sits in his room thinking. Why did this happen? How could his brother and Steve die? They weren't hurting anyone. They were just in love.  
Is something wrong with him too? He loved Steve too, so will the same thing happen to him. He closes his eyes and tries to escape from the whispers and pain.

Even now with most of his questions answered Steve Rodgers and his brother still haunt his thoughts. Loki now a grown man visits the lake where the two lovers shared their last moment of life. Around the lake narcissus grow in bundles.

Loki finds it ironic that a flower that represents rebirth and new beginnings grows where something that was seen as hideous has ended. As if to say they will be beautiful again and maybe it was a new beginning for the two lovers in the next life. On his bad days he sits here and imagines himself talking to his brother and Steve. He thinks they listen to him. He even confessed to his first love here. Of course he made sure it was during a moonless night and in a whisper.

Even if it was to a ghost his love could be heard by someone in the living and they will try to make him sink too.

Some part of him will aways love Steve. He thinks that is why he has yet to fall in love again. Then again maybe he still doesn't know the meaning of love. If he did he would have the answer to why everything happened the way it did. For now he shall just sit here and think. Who knows maybe one day he will find someone who will sit with him at the lake and they can kiss the way Steve and Thor did.


End file.
